No, you aren’t owed a wife 

Inspired by Carla’s article here, I’ve decided to wade (once again) into murky waters, looking at the world of the InCel.

What’s an InCel, I hear you ask? It means ‘involuntarily celibate’, and believe it or not, I’m not without sympathy for some of the people who identify as part of this group. Hear me out. The website Nerve has written about this in considerable detail – some InCels have been victims of abuse in one form or another, and as a result suffer from crippling social anxiety. For some of them – men and women alike – the prospect of going out and socialising is genuinely frightening. Having a love life in those circumstances would be almost impossible. I can’t imagine feeling like that, and it affects far more than just someone’s love life.

Unfortunately the elements of this movement that exist to support each other and to help them overcome their problems have been overshadowed by an entirely more sinister form of InCels – the ones who believe they are entitled to sex and love, and they actually believe governments should be intervening so they can get some. There are posts on Reddit along these very lines, where some InCels compare their ‘problem’ to disabilities.

You’re not disabled if your problem is that you simply can’t attract someone to get freaky with. I don’t know any woman who is attracted to such a display of self-pity. Guess what? A lot of us (especially us fellas) want sex. Just because we want it, it doesn’t mean we’re gonna get it. I want a Euro Millions jackpot win – it doesn’t mean I’m gonna get one, and it certainly doesn’t entitle me to one.

Some of these InCels are blaming feminism for their failure to get laid. They’ve even talked about how moves toward greater equality for women should be reversed, for they are detrimental to their chances of finding a sexual partner. Here’s a controversial notion – try changing your attitude! Stop viewing women as a commodity for your pleasure. If you’re struggling to find someone because of that mindset, change your mindset. 

In a lot of ways this links into my recent post about MGTOWs. Both these particular InCels and MGTOWs think of women as property -as objects to dehumanise and use for their own pleasure. I’m not sure which group is worse – MGTOWs have it in their heads that women are poisonous creatures and moan constantly about them, despite apparently wanting nothing to do with them – InCels want women to bend completely to their will, being subservient and fulfilling their every whim.


If I turned around and said to my wife ‘I own you and therefore you do as I say’, she’d probably punch me, and I’d deserve it. Moreover, why would I want her to be anything other than who she is? I love her because she has her own, unique personality, not because she’s some robot who exists solely for my needs. That would be boring.

Come on guys. Let’s be better than this. You bemoan the ‘evils’ of feminism, equality and womens’ rights, and then wonder why women don’t want to know you.


5 thoughts on “No, you aren’t owed a wife 

  1. I’m currently doing that llama dance from The Emperor’s New Groove with the ‘uh huh, uh huh, uh huh uh uh uh’. Awesome movie, btw, if you’ve never seen it.
    BUT YES. This is what they don’t get: it’s your entitlement that scares women away.
    Also: You can’t judge a woman based on the fact that she has sex, and that she doesn’t, and be pissy that not more women are sleeping with you. We can’t be called frigid and slut at the same time, and not expect some of us to have that societal expectation hanging over our heads.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. A lot of us (especially us fellas) want sex. Just because we want it, it doesn’t mean we’re gonna get it. I want a Euro Millions jackpot win – it doesn’t mean I’m gonna get one, and it certainly doesn’t entitle me to one.

    This analogy is perfect; especially when you consider that many of them are complaining about not winning the jackpot while simultaneously refusing to buy a ticket.

    They’d rather complain on the Internet than try to go out & try to meet someone (not counting the people with actual social anxiety issues, just the jerks). They also want to skip the courtship part, getting to know someone, finding/having chemistry, & skip right to demanding sex. I can’t think of many people who would find that attractive.

    Liked by 1 person

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